Rule #1: If you're late, you're buying the coffee (obviously)

Rule #2: No one gets left behind (unless they're really annoying)

Rule #3: "On time" is a suggestion, not a requirement

Rule #4: What happens on the ride stays on the ride (except the Strava times)

Rule #5: Whoever picks the route picks the coffee shop

Rule #6: There's no such thing as bad weather, only missed espresso shots

Rule #7: Donuts are a food group (carbs are fuel, right?)

Rule #8: KOMs are temporary, coffee shop loyalty is forever

Rule #9: If you didn't take a bike pic, did you even ride?

Rule #10: Last one to the café buys the second round